Text Box: Married Life

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is all too common today for males and females to live together in cohabitation, and there are a lot of reasons why this happens although it is never conveyed to the parents even if the children have had an excellent upbringing themselves. My wife and I have been married for 45 years and still love each other. Could it be one of the list below, or two or three, or a combination of all six?

 

         Infidelity

         Immorality

         Commitment

         Separation

         Divorce

         Aversion to marriage

 

Paul lets us know through his letters.

 

1 Corinthians 7:1-7

1. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

2. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let everyman have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

3. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: (desire to do good to others; goodwill) and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

4. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body but the wife.

5. Defraud ye not one the other, (to deprive of something by deception or fraud) except it be with consent for a time that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (Failure to restrain sexual appetite: unchaste)

6. But I speak by permission, and not by commandment.

7. For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

 

"But every man hath his proper (referring to one individual) gift of God, one of one kind and one of another"

 

The apostle Paul (and other key figures among God's people, including Elijah, John the Baptist and Jesus Christ) were not married (some are of the opinion that Paul may have been a widower; see also Paul's Ministry), but Paul taught neither for, nor against, marriage. What Paul taught regarding marriage was a matter of what was best for an individual's righteous life.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9

8. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is for them if they abide even as I.

9. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

 

Paul was not absolute in his teaching, of The Lord's teaching ("I give charge, not I but the Lord"), about separation and divorce, but he did make a distinction between marriage in general ("To the married I give charge") and a marriage that involves a believer and an unbeliever.

("If the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound").

 

"To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband - and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy.

Corinthians 7:10-16

10. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord. Let not the wife depart from her husband:

11. But and If she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

12. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that beliveth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him let him not put her away.

13. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

14. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children; but now are they holy.

15. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

16. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? Or how knowest thou O man, thou shalt save thy wife.

Paul's primary focus was "let everyone lead the life which the Lord has assigned to him, and in which God has called him." Does that mean that, for example, Paul remained single because he was single when he was called, while Peter (see Peter's Ministry) was married to a "believing" wife because Peter was married (we know that Peter was married at his calling because Jesus cured Peter's mother-in-law of a fever) i.e.

Luke 4:38-39

38. And He arose out of the synagogue, and entered into Simonís house. And Simonís wifeís mother was taken with a great fever; and they besought Him for her.

39. And he stood over her, and rebuked the fever; and it left her: and immediately she arose and ministered unto them.

 

When he was called perhaps, but as Paul explains further, his, or Peter's, or anyone else's, circumstances and choices do not apply to everyone. It depends on the calling, the mission.

1 Corinthians 7:17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.

But what did he mean by that?

Was any one at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was any one at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision, for neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the Commandments of God.

Everyone should remain in the state in which he was called. Were you a slave when called? Never mind. But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity. For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ. You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. So, brethren, in whatever state each was called, there let him remain with God.

1 Corinthians 7:18-28

18. Is any man called being circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? Let him not be circumcised.

19. Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.

20. Let everyman abide in the same calling wherein he was called.

21. Art thou called being a servant? Care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free use it rather.

22. For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lordís freeman: likewise also he that is called being free, is Christís servant.

23. Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.

24. Brethren, let everyman, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.

25. Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: Yet I give my judgement, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.

26. I suppose therefore this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.

27. Art thou bound unto a wife? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife.

28. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

 

Paul's summary? Marry or remain single, not as one state being better than the other, for everyone, but as a matter if whichever makes an individual more productive to their calling in this life. Some are more effective Christians married, while others are more effective Christians single.

"I mean, brethren, the appointed time has grown very short [see Could Christ Return Tonight?]; from now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the form of this world is passing away.

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman or girl is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:29-40

29. But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;

30. And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that but, as though they possessed not;

31. And they that use this world, as not abusing it; for the fashion of this world passeth away.

32. But I would have you without carefulness, He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

33. But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

34. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

35. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

36. But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

37. Nevertheless he that standeth steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.

38. So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

39. The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

40. But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgement: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.

 

If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry - it is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. So that he who marries his betrothed does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better.

While Christ was not married as a mortal man that does not mean that He will not have a "wife." Who is the betrothed bride of Christ? When will the marriage happen?

Ephesians 5:25-32

25. Wherefore putting away lying, speak everyman truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.

26. Be ye not angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.

27. Neither give place to the devil.

28. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the things which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.

29. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may administer grace unto the hearers.

30. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

31. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, (a vehement expression of desire or dissatisfaction): and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice. (desire to inflict injury, harm, or suffering on another)

32. And be ye kind one to another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christís sake hath forgiven you.

 

Revelation 19:7-8

7. Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to Him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and His wife hath made herself ready.

8. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.